I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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