he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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