honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
