Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
