let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
