Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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