what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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