Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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