she smelled like a LAN party
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
