i permit you to call me
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
this is an emotional support booty call
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
