my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
