I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
