How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
