what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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