The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
These tits shall not be calmed
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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