cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
