don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize