I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize