I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
