i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
