I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
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Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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