you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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