Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
