I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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