Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
