get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
