fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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