So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
