My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
