Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?