Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.