..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
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we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
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My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk