Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote

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  (812): At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote http://tfl.nu/x0fb
  Replies (5) Good night (648) Bad night (2726)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?

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  (302): is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"? http://tfl.nu/82yu
  Replies (13) Good night (2780) Bad night (999)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower

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  (513): it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower http://tfl.nu/mfse
  Replies (11) Good night (4187) Bad night (824)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?

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  (740): how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian? http://tfl.nu/pz5v
  Replies (94) Good night (4594) Bad night (1412)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.

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  (253): Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me. http://tfl.nu/6zni
  Replies (28) Good night (1932) Bad night (5536)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?

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  (248): Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet? http://tfl.nu/so9l
  Replies (9) Good night (2210) Bad night (1818)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...

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  (206): he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker... http://tfl.nu/z1il
  Replies (16) Good night (5208) Bad night (1224)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.

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  (316): Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all. http://tfl.nu/i7x5
  Replies (5) Good night (1179) Bad night (1215)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.

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  (270): Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil. http://tfl.nu/p6d2
  Replies (14) Good night (2284) Bad night (677)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.

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  (905): Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants. http://tfl.nu/3ltp
  Replies (5) Good night (1994) Bad night (664)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Life is too short to have fake orgasms.

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  (412): Life is too short to have fake orgasms. http://tfl.nu/1oh4
  Replies (14) Good night (2913) Bad night (643)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck

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  (720): Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck http://tfl.nu/51rp
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (1669)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.

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  (480): And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold. http://tfl.nu/2ktu
  Replies (5) Good night (291) Bad night (596)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel

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  (401): Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel http://tfl.nu/tmc2
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (215)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge

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  (419): He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge http://tfl.nu/86hl
  Replies (2) Good night (169) Bad night (360)

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