you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
