It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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