I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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