In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
