i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
