So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The power of my boobs compel you
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
