I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize