did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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