dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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