Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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