nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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