Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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