Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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