Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
