we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
