There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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