capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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