Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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