is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
