I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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