Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
