Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
