I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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