My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
