My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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