is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
