I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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