tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
