They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
