I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
